I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
