I like my sex mixed with concussions.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Randomize
