And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
