his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think your dad took our porno
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize