She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
