The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
