WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
