Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
