I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
