her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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