Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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