I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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