We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize