ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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