wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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