i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
