Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
