Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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