Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wish my penis had a tongue
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
