Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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