On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
