I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
