Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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