4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
