I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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