So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't deserve a penis
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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