Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
