OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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