If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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