Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
