i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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