really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
