Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
