I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize