There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
