the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
