covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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