he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just high enough for therapy.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
