Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
