Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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