so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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