bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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