so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
