and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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