Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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