Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
