theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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