Sponge bath it is.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
