feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
no you cant smoke seaweed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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