i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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