THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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