im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
