I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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