suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize