i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
