bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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