# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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