You made me cry and you don't even care
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
