I feel like abortions should bother me more
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
